Soap is not a condiment
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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