i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
this is an emotional support booty call
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
