Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
