I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
