theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
