trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Who wears a wallet chain?!
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
