how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Randomize
