Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
