I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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