Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
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