Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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