i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Randomize
