A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
