Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
