I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
