I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
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