im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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