I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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