i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Randomize
