Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
So vagazzling was a success
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
