Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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