my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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