So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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