Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
