You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
the raccoons are back...
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