We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
