He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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