I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
