I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Rumble strips road head = magical
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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