That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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