I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
