She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
