R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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