Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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