when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
