Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
No subtext here. People are naked.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
