Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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