i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
