I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
