i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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