I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
