You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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