This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
