btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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