make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
