Sry I called you an 8
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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