This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We had to coat check the pizza.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
