hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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