mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Randomize
