I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
