you're like a bully in the Christmas story
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
