seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
