The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
