Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
